Our servants who act on behalf of the general public would like your feedback on how you feel about Holsworthy. The Police are holding a beat surgery (not a rave) on the 6th of June between 12PM and 2PM at Holsworthy Library on North Road. Your welcome to come and share your opinion with the […]

Last night, Holsworthy went into anarchy, for the second time this month. Townspeople watched in horror as a local young man with a micro penis went on a drug fuelled rampage after taking MDMA instead of his penis enlargement pills he purchased through an adult website advert. When the pills arrived, they looked identical to his MDMA […]

  Lets get this out the way first.  The good people of Holsworthy all love the Co-Op. It’s convenient, friendly and smells like roses and wine. If you want a quick and cheap meal for the family they have your back, or if you want something more upmarket like a pack of Malboro and a […]

We put it to Holsworthy Town Council and its Councillors that Belt Sander Racing needs to become a monthly summer event. From the beginning to the end of summer, every 3 weeks, a belt sander race event needs to take place at Holsworthy Market. This event would bring tourists and over a period of a […]