The Bank Manager at NatWest in Holsworthy has been sentenced to 3 weeks on the naughty step in Holsworthy for the crime of “being a plonker and closing our bank”. The sentence begins tomorrow and the bank manager will be given the standard treatment, a bar of lubricated soap, some nuts that can be thrown […]
The Local constabulary have shared their concerns over the new release of the BT Phonebook. To their absolute horror, the phone book is much smaller than before. The new phonebook is only half an inch thick, despite the Police issuing the phone numbers of every drug dealer in Holsworthy (enough to fill a 1990’s yellow […]
Holsworthy Mafia can confirm that Volunteers helping with the community litter pick later today will NOT receive A council tax rebate, despite doing Torridge district council’s Job. Holsworthy Mafia spoke to one volunteer, local resident Mr A.Taint from North Road for his take on the subject. He had this to say :- ” I work […]
The first Naughty Boy to be sentenced to 2 weeks on the naughty step has claimed its harder than prison because freedom is in plain view and around you. He said one of his favorite things about prison was dropping the soap, he really enjoyed being exposed to the prison “elements”, and since being banished to […]
Holsworthy Town Council are to announce plans to help the community punish those who take part in Youthful High jinx. The plan involves a naughty step in which criminals will be made to sit there and sulk while they think about the naughty things they have done. This involves anything from stealing car dust caps […]
