The Don has issued a chilling warning to the Cornish. He said last night in an emergency meeting he chaired with the National Security Council that he is willing to launch his nuclear missiles over the border into Cornwall if they continue putting cream on top of the JAM on scones. He said behaviour such […]
The Don is pressing the EU powerhouse to remove male / female fitting descriptions from all items in the EU. Examples are male / female USB cable, male female pipe connectors and male and female audio cables. The law is to bring the EU into the future where nothing should cause offence to anyone. Our […]
Holsworthy Town Council have come up with a solution to the local Boy Racer issues with keeping people awake. This genius solution promises results every time. We guarantee after reading this, you’ll be asleep or die of severe boredom. Our man on the inside suggested that the material should be used carefully. he doesn’t recommend […]
You may remember a few years back during the Councillor elections for Torridge Council that Ian Parker promised a cycle path between Holsworthy and Bude. yesterday, the Don went out on his bike in shock to discover this politician hasn’t followed through with his cycle path promise. The Don was in tears when he came back, […]
Holsworthy has lit up on Facebook over the mysterious appearance of this glorious Citroen Xsara in different places in Holsworthy, but locals haven’t figured out yet, its ALIENS. The car is a decoy planted by Aliens who are planning a massive conspiracy in town on a level beyond your imagination. The conspiracy involves a luke […]
