News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Town square shenanigans !!!

Jeff “The shed” Poughill our Consigleire here at the Holsworthy Mafia, would like to make it CRYSTAL clear that we were in no way involved, in the events that transpired in Holsworthy town square this afternoon.

To add credence to that, he has released the following statement :-


” We the Holsworthy Mafia were involved in 3 separate hijacking’s between the hours of 11am to 4pm.  The first hijacking took place between 11:15 and 11:25 Just outside the corner shop in Highampton. We stole 30 rounds of the finest cheddar cheese, and drove off in a red transit van.  The second took place between 12:05 and 12:40 in the layby just before Anvil corner. We Hijacked 26 boxes of premium lightbulbs, and again used a red Transit van. Our third and final Hijacking of today, took place between 15:30 and 16:00 in Victoria square where we Hijacked Dangerous “Dave” Millman’s Flower delivery. We came away from this daring heist with an impressive haul of 16 bunches of slightly wilted  Crysanthiums. Again we used Fred “Bob” Allers, red transit van.

So as you can see, we the Holsworthy Mafia were in no way involved in this afternoons activities in the town square ” …….. Jeff ” The Shed ” Poughill .



Well I definitely think that Jeff has put this whole issue to bed .




Pete ” 2 testicles ” Griffin



PS: Fred lost his green woolly hat in Victoria square this afternoon.  If anyone finds it would they please hand it to their nearest Holsworthy Mafia member :)




Updated: January 15, 2016 — 4:36 pm
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