News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia


Holsworthy Pot Holes

The town council planning on ruining our plans to hide our ageing trident missile system we purchased from the government.

The Don would like to express is anger for the Town Councils plans to repair the pot holes. Since several years ago, the Don has been planning on using the pot holes for a secret project. You cant tell anyone about this, but here it is:

The pot holes will get bigger and bigger, eventually, we will have a new discrete place to hide our ageing 1970’s Trident Missiles. The pot holes are so far 1 – 2 ” deep, some are more, we need this to grow a little further to around 100 meters deep and 3 meters wide. We believe this wont be noticed in comparison to the other pot holes in the area.

The plan is to have a nuclear deterrent in case the Torrington Tough Boys try to steal our turf. It is rumoured that the Taddiport Tearaways could form a coalition with the Torrington Tough Boys to bring Holsworthy down, but we wont allow this.

So please, keep the pot holes safe. We need them.


PS – The dons new cat Mittens has gone missing. If you happen to see a Siberian tiger in Holsworthy, please hand him in. We believe its likely we are the only owners of a Siberian tiger in our street.



Updated: July 2, 2017 — 11:13 am
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