News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Trump – What we know

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Trump is in power, but its not as good as we thought. When trump was promising to make Mexico pay for the brick wall across the border, we got smart and invested many moneys into the brick industry over there thinking this would make us millions, but that failed recently when Trump announced the US government will fund it and invoice Mexico which they will never pay.

But theres a silver lining. We’ve struck a great deal with Mexico who need to sell their produce to other countries since the USA are going to block their trade.

The said product which we shall not mention will ship to Holsworthy as early as next year and will be available for a certain group of residents in Holsworthy to enjoy.

The product is said to cost around £100 per gram and will come with a free spoon, like the Star Wars cereals a few years back.

Another silver lining. Another upcoming Mexican industry will see our next investment very soon. You see, since the wall is getting built, the Mexicans will soon discover their ladders aren’t big enough and will need to build even bigger ladders. Thats where we come in, a new mafia funded company called MexiLadder building larger ladders for the Mexicans. But we need to sort our deal with them first.

Leaving the EU has opened many doors to the UK. Lets hope we can tie the knot with the Mexicans.

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Updated: January 22, 2017 — 9:03 pm
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