News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

FOR SALE – 1980s TRIDENT Missiles – £35,995

article-0-15bda422000005dc-841_634x396The don has requested me to place an ad. His beloved Trident missiles are now for sale. He regrets having to sell these missiles to help defend against Nevin & Nelly who are no longer a threat to the mafia.

These trident missiles have 0 millage (absolute bargain if you ask me) and come with a full user manual and connection lead to C64 computer.

The missiles aren’t the most powerful known to man, but where stolen from the Devonport Dockyard base back in the 80s by the Dons father, officially know as “Dons Father” who sadly passed two weeks after due to acute radiation poisoning. The missiles where the last gift to the Don from his dad hence he’s kept them for so long.

Service history:

  • New solenoid on the rear flank defuser (missiles number 2, 5 & 7)
  • New Flappy deflunker pedal (missile number 2)
  • Repair to Flux Capacitor (missile number 2)
  • Replaced the 12 volt starter motor (missile number 2)
  • Fuel tank refilled with genuine  Four-Star unleaded **** on all missiles

They all come with forged proof of ownership documents and payment will need to be made in the form of cash. The warheads come with a ground guarantee, valid until the missiles leave the ground under their own power.

Collection at Waitrose Car Park, a free coffee will be waiting for you.

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Updated: October 25, 2016 — 7:57 pm
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