News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

UPDATE: Change to Holsworthy Space Centre

aliensWe’ve received an update with the Holsworthy Space Centre. They have come out with the following statement:

We’ve been and inspected the church one final time and have come to the conclusion we cannot install our equipment correctly without disturbing the church goers.

We’ve been looking on the Kivells Website and the Bond Oxborough Phillips website for properties to rent and found the best suitable space would be the old North Devon Conservative offices as they where just as alien as us.

There will be further updates coming on the scenario but its thought that the aliens will also be able to provide the town with an intergalactic standard electricity system based on super solar panels developed on Planet Xentrix. These super solar panels can produce enough power from a 2M X 2M panel to power a city using space satellites that beam high magnification rays down to the panels. This technology makes it more efficient than ever to leave your lights on and its thought that a monthly £200 bill would be reduced to £0.43.

They will also be bringing their new fleet of space ships which will dock in the valley by the old viaduct. This will allow them to refuel and walk from their new space centre in minimal time. An underground hanger and space bay will be available to rent out to other planets with 12% revenue to go towards the charity shops in the square.

The fleet of space ships include a passenger tour ship capable of travelling at the speed of light. They also have 14 starlight galacticon fighters carrying space specification nuclear missiles. These will be available for the UK government to use as a free upgrade to the Trident system.

Once opened, the alien race from planet Xentrix will be inviting the towns people to a welcome party including a free trip to Jupiter. Free snacks will also be provided.

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Updated: August 30, 2016 — 2:25 pm
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