News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Free unlimited withdrawals with this new Mafia product

The Holsworthy Mafia are always please to help the local community in anyway it can. Whether its the local economy or moaning about the benches being removed by the well pump, this time, its a good one.

We are selling a new product which when presented at any UK bank branch will get you unlimited cash withdrawals. I present to you, the classic 12 bore shotgun, available to you for only £199.99. This classic weapon comes second hand however it has no history of usage or servicing for its entire life. Reason for selling so cheap, classified, but it has NOTHING to do with the robberies carried out this week.

How to use:

  1. simply walk into a bank
  2. present the shotgun to any staff member
  3. they immediately notice the quality of the weapon and reward you with cash
  4. free Police escort all the way home (though for some reason, they do end up racing you and when I lost last time, I get 4 months of holiday with free TV, food, lovely views and some amazing people, including Big Darren, who always woke me up in a weird but fun way, a game of Monopoly).

This product is available now.

Big Tony

PS – Please make sure you don’t let the Police get hold of this shotgun.

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Updated: March 16, 2016 — 8:00 pm
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