News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia


Since the dawn of time, there has been…. time. And time and time again, we occasionally get it wrong, whether its the house clock which has worn out batteries, or denying the existence of British summer time for 3 weeks, but one thing has become clearly apparent about the small picturesque market town of Hoslworthy… It has its own time zone.

A time zone is a zone in which time exists. Just to clear that up.
– Mr Scientist
Holsworthy Mafia Science Department.

Holsworthy has declared war on time zones, particularly the UK time zone. This time, its nothing to do with the humble Holsworthy Mafia. Its to do with our church!

We’ve clearly decided┬áthat our boring GMT is not enough. Holsworthy Church has decided we are to change time zones by shifting its bell ringing patterns out of sync of this boring, plain time zone… by two minutes, ish, to be precise.

By doing this, we the towns people must follow this, adjust every clock to be two minutes fast, adjust our bus time tables, adjust our cookers, microwave clocks, our digital tech and above all, that clock in the car no one understands how to adjust, the one with the two buttons that make no sense. Damn you Rover!

We must stand tall and proud, and accept HITZ – Holsworthy International Time Zone into our lives. Besides, if we’re two minutes ahead, its time travel. Holsworthy will literally be living in the future. Apart from France. Their an Hour into the future. And Finland, who are two hours ahead… Nevermind!

Stand with the Church and the Mafia! Adjust your clocks.


PS –


Tony is getting a bit old aged. He forgot his login details for this site, hence we’ve been quiet.



Updated: August 7, 2020 — 11:01 pm
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