News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

The Great power cut of 2019



with charm and character, a busy town centre and now, a town which an event which will shape the future of towns people, the great power cut of Holsworthy. Lasting somewhere between 15 and 25 minutes, I didn’t really care too much to time it, it caused absolute chaos within the town.

By the first 5 minutes, bollards and rusty car wrecks were placed at all the entrances to this once lit and powered market town, a sign of danger, troubles and no kettles for a tea and a chat.

The 9th minute came, 14 people had died due to electrocution. We are trying to establish how, but this is Holsworthy.

By the 15th minute, the national red cross was sent in to deliver power banks so people can shout out to eachother on Holsworthy Moan & Groan to see if they had no electricity.

By the 20th minute, all hell broke loose in the square. A helicopter carrying portable power banks and batteries to the desperate crashed, killing 14 billion people, luckily, the Pilot survived and we’ve stolen his dashcam to put on Facebook later.

By the 25th minute, the mayor realized she’d forgot to put 50p in the meter and all civilization was restored.

let us stand together, as a strong community and look back upon this moment of terror, the moment that was, the Great Power Cut of Holsworthy 19. Let us also mention you, the poor person reading this absolute rubbish, knowing, these valuable minutes wont be returned.

This was a message from Tony Bigman.

PS – Its best not to eat grass. Especially if the grass is in cow poo.



Updated: August 9, 2019 — 4:56 pm
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