News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Tractor refuses to pull over for washing machine. Town goes into a spin.



Holsworthy went into complete meltdown last night. After a relatively calm period Holsworthy has found itself embroiled in an argument over the driving habits of tractor drivers and the rights of washing machines to live a free and peaceful life.

The drama started around tea time on Friday night. A gentleman named locally as ‘Tim Bumblebee’ took to social media to express his frustration at a tractor driver for not pulling over whilst driving on the road from Red post to Holsworthy. ‘Tim’ wrote about his frustration at having to add an extra 5 minutes to his journey. Once he’d posted his opinion on social media he sat back and waited for the likes and comments to role in.

However things did not go the way ‘Tim’ hoped. The residents of Holsworthy were quick to point out a few obvious facts. They quickly explained that the tractor driver was indeed working, and was helping to provide food for the public. It was also pointed out that the road itself is a bit shitty, and that safe places to pull in are non existent. However the main point that was made, was that Holsworthy is a farming community and as such ‘Tim’ should expect all the pros and cons that come with it, and if he didn’t like it maybe he could move to Bude with All The surfing hippies.

However in a plot twist that no one saw coming, it turned out that the real reason ‘Tim’ didn’t or couldn’t overtake, was because he was driving a washing machine. Yes you read that correctly!  It turns out that ‘Tim’ was driving his favourite Indesit 1400 spin washer, and as such he didn’t have the required power to overtake a Skoda, let alone a Tractor.

We the Holsworthy Mafia spoke to ‘Tim’, to find out exactly what was going on. He had this to say :-

 “Well I was just driving my washing machine along the road and this bloody tractor working hard to keep our country fed, just wouldn’t understand that my needs were more important than his. I was on my way to the annual washing machine meet up at Derek’s place. All us washing machine owners like to meet up and discuss a laundry list of things. The main thing we discuss is how Washing machine corner is a beloved institution that  the people of Holsworthy hold in very high regard. We also discuss how Derek has done a shit load for this town, and that if people have a problem with it, maybe they should get of their arses and go and speak to him direct, like normal grown up people. After that we all go to the White Hart for a pint, and a good old burn up in the memorial hall car park. We can still show those young boyracers a thing or two”


Well we at the Holsworthy Mafia left the interview there, as all this talk of washing machines and tractors was more than enough excitement for us, for one day.



Updated: March 2, 2019 — 5:40 pm
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