News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Holsworthy Church vows to keep Christmas going for as long as possible.

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Well Christmas is over and done with. The New years festivities and the resulting hangover is out of the way, and life is now settling back into some sort of routine.  Holsworthy once again outdid itself over the holiday period, and showed everybody that when it comes to downing 20 pints of Doom bar and still getting home in time to carry out the Santa duties, we as a town, rule.


Well one beloved institution has decided to screw tradition. They have decided that Christmas doesn’t need to end, and that they are going to keep the party going.


Who are we talking about ?


We are talking about none other than the church of St Peter and St Paul. Yes you read that right. Our local church has decided to go against all perceived convention and keep the Christmas spirit well and truly alive. To do this they have decided to keep the worlds most scary nativity scene up for the whole year. Most people take their Christmas decorations down before January 6th in keeping with tradition, but Holsworthy church have said ‘sod’ that ! They have realised that as well as saving money keeping the tableau up, it also has the added bonus of scaring off any would be burglars.


The nativity scene has been described by ‘experts’ as inspired by the works of Salvidor Dali, and was made by various Childrens groups from around town.


The Holsworthy Mafia spoke to a tourist that had traveled from ‘Bude’ especially to come and see the world famous nativity scene.

‘Lucy Pherr’ had this to say :-

     ” I had recently just fallen out with my dad, who had told me i had to leave home. So i decided to visit your plane of existence Holsworthy. One of my Minions friends told me about the most amazing Nativity scene he had witnessed, so i decided to come take a look for myself. I was not disappointed. Though if i recollect properly, the three wise men were not wearing ‘John Deere’ overalls. But apart from that, I think the church have really nailed it, when it comes to this nativity scene. To hear that it will be staying in place for the whole year really makes me want to stay in ‘Bude’, so i can come here often and appreciate this wondrous thing that i saw firsthand that is a joy to see”.


The Holsworthy Mafia also reached out to our Local Vicar. We managed to catch up with her, just as she was on her way to the annual Fantazia weekender. She had this to say:-

     ” Ahhh my delightful, poor misguided children. What you are witnessing is merely the church observing the true Christian tradition. The nativity scene will come down on Candlemass day. Now please let me be on may way, Carl Cox is playing the first set and I want to be at the front of the crowd”


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The Holsworthy Mafia will probably be updating this article later, when we get a phone call telling us to stop being disrespectful.








Updated: January 11, 2019 — 9:00 pm
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