News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Supreme leader ‘Darth lord Hutchings’ orders the Green Flats to be painted Tory blue.



In a turn of events that everyone saw coming, Holsworthys new supreme leader ‘Darth Lord Hutchings’ has issued a new directive.  The new command issued from his imperial throne upon the new death star, has been titled ‘Order 66’, and states the following:-


 ” In celebration of my ascent to the darkside and conformation as a Conservative district councilor, I hereby command that the place known as the ‘Green flats’, be from this day forth, known as the ‘Blue Flats’. We will achieve this stunning PR move by utilizing ‘Blue’ paint instead of ‘Green’. “


The Holsworthy mafia tracked down our new supreme leader, and asked him about ‘Order 66’, he had this to say:-

 ” The Green flats have become synonymous with crime and evil doings. I wanted to change the public perception of the place, so  I quickly realised that if I tied the flats to the most benevolent and kind political organization there is, people would come to see the place as a strong and stable building that deserves a second chance. Obviously the conservative party are known for their kind, gentle nature, so by painting the Green flats ‘Tory’ blue, the hope is they will now be known as the ‘Blue flats’ and thus, stop being known as the ‘Green flats’ and by association loose their undeserved reputation”

The Holsworthy Mafia agree, and now hope that people will refer to them as the ‘Blue Flats’, and that we can all move past their nefarious history.



In the spirit of impartiality the Holsworthy Mafia reached out to all the political parties, for their views on the situation.


Conservative MP ‘Lord Pigephucer’ was unavailable for comment as he was of hunting down disabled people, in the hopes of stripping their benefits and forcing them into homelessness.


Labour MP Mr R. Starbelgrade, was also unavailable for comment as he was busy coming up with some imaginary weapons of mass destruction, so if his party ever get into power again they could start another illegal war.


We couldn’t find a Liberal democrat MP, ……. as there is none.



The Green party were happy to talk to us, however when we asked them to bring some ‘Green’ to our interview, they said they were not weed dealers. So we saw no point in talking to them.



The Holsworthy Mafia will not be updating this article as we are of looking for some decent colombian coffee. If only the Green Flats were still a thing 😉



Heres a picture of work starting on turning the Green flats Blue.





Updated: November 19, 2018 — 10:41 pm
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