News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Quidditch player gets stuck on roof of Holsworthy school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

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Shocking new photos have emerged of a Quidditch player from the local team the ‘Holsworthy hardypuffs’ stuck on the roof of the Holsworthy school of witchcraft and wizardry.


The unnamed quidditch player apparently got stuck after chasing a ‘Quaffle’ around by Dave Millmans back door, and up on to the roof of the school for witchcraft and wizardry.


Holsworthys school of witchcraft and wizardry is located in the square, and is currently undergoing restoration after the bazzar events of 3 years ago.


3 years ago the dark lord Voldemort left the USS Enterprise and engaged in a battle with Harry potter, the famed Jedi who protects Holsworthys school of witchcraft and wizardry using his blue police phone box. The battle in which Neville Longbottom and his rebel alliance, used the sword Excalibur to defeat the ‘Sith’ lord Voldemort, resulted in much damage to the school, and as a result an expensive restoration project was ordered by Starfleet command.


The school is still being restored and is expected to be finished sometime in 2037. We here at the Holsworthy Mafia spoke to ‘Nute Scarymandem‘ the person in charge of restoring Holsworthys school of witchcraft and wizardry. He had this to say :-

    ” Todays unfortunate event occurred after our morning game of Quidditch got a little bit out of hand. The player was chasing a quaffle when he realised that the broom he was riding was not in fact magic, and that it was in reality his morning cup of tea that was ‘magic’, after his workmates had spiked his tea with magic mushrooms. He was slightly embarrassed when he sobered up and realised that he had been riding around on a normal broom shouting ‘wingardium leviosa’ all morning at random strangers. We have put a written warning on file and told him that any more ‘Potter’ incidents will result in banishment to Bude with the rest of the muggles”


The Holsworthy mafia also reached out to ‘Scouting for girls’ a pop band who advertise on the Wizarding school. Unfortunately they were unable to comment as they were busy of looking for a second ‘Hit’ song.


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‘Dobby’ the house elf was also spotted on the roof of the Holsworthy school of witchcraft and wizardry 😉


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The Holsworthy mafia will not be updating this article as the magic tea we drunk half an hour ago, is now kicking in.



Updated: October 16, 2018 — 4:02 pm
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