In a move that shocked absolutely no one today, Theresa may announced that she was giving up on negotiations with the EU and was instead going to challenge Starlord from the fictitious Marvel universe, to a ‘Dance off’ for the Power stone. She believes that with one of the six infinity stones, she will be able to force the European union into submission.
Being seen as a laughing stock by both brexiteers and remainers alike, the Maybot has decided that the only viable option left open to her, was to make the purple infinity stone hers. After learning that ‘Starlord’ was half alien Theresa has been practising her dance moves on some foreigners recently. Jacob Rees Mogg told her that foreigners looked funny, and had the potential to become “Illegal Aliens”. Deciding that was close enough, she broke out some moves in preparation at a recent international meeting.
It is understood that Mrs May spent a whole 2hrs 5 minutes watching the Disney film “Guardians of the galaxy”. 2hrs 3 minutes longer then any thought put into the current Brexit strategy.
After conferring with her cabinet, she today attended the Conservative party conference and announced to the members that she had seen where ‘Ronan the accuser’ (coincidently also a blue alien) had gone wrong in the film, and had issued a ‘Dance off’ challenge to ‘Starlord’, with hopes of gaining one of the powerful gems.
The Maybot is confident of victory and even showed of her latest dance routine as she came on stage at todays tory conference. Showcasing moves that have been described as ‘like trying to moving a fridge down a hallway’ Mrs May attempted to inject some humour into the conference ….. and failed miserably.
Members were unsure of the plan, but most agreed that a ‘Dance off’ with the completely made up ‘Starlord’ probably had more chance of success than the current plan.
It is unsure at this time if Jacob Rees Mogg will be challenging the Red Skull for the title of biggest Twat. But it is known that bookies have already announced that Rees Mogg is odds on favourite to win the title if the Red Skull accepts the challenge.