News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Geography Teachers lose their minds as Britain fails to realise we are not leaving Europe.




News has just come in from the Geography Union of Teachers, that they have just about lost their damn minds and are going on strike.


People woke up on the 24th of June 2016 to the news that the UK was leaving the European Union, and also to Nigel Farage ruining the best quote from the film ‘Independence day’.


Cries of “Fuck Europe”, “We’re leaving Europe” and “See ya Europe” were soon reverberating around the UK. About 50% of adults got their gammon on, and began rubbing it in their opponents faces. Whilst the other 50% started moaning about A big red bus and old people voting. Both sides refusing to realise that win or lose, it was still ‘Ham faced pig fucker’, David Camerons fault.


Well Geography teachers have had it with this Brexit nonsense. For two years they have put up with people saying “We are leaving Europe” and now they have finally decided enough is enough.


From the 24th of September 2018 Geography teachers across the nation will be going on strike, and be taking a mass vacation to the Principality of Sealand.


‘Trevor Clarkshoe’, a spokesmen for the Geography Union of Teachers spoke to us, and had this to say :-

 ” Until people realise that we are NOT leaving Europe, and that we are NEVER leaving Europe, we here at the G.U.T are refusing to work. Let the next generation of children believe that the capital of France is bodmin, because we honestly do not care anymore.. For two years we have put up with this bullshit, and it has got to stop. … Now please excuse me, I have a Toyota prius to wash”


The Holsworthy Mafia also spoke to a student who attends geography lessons. ‘James Cook’ had this to say :-

 ” Honestly? I am gutted bruv. Geography class was the only place I could play ‘Fortnite’ on my iPhone in peace.  What am I gonna do now? I might have to go to a proper lesson and actually learn shit”


The Holsworthy Mafia understand that geography teachers plan on ending the strike when the UK leaves the European Union. They hope that once that happens people will stop saying that we are leaving Europe, and that they will be able to get back to being, every schools most boring teacher.







Updated: September 21, 2018 — 9:04 pm
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