News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Ladyboy #1 and Ladyboy #2 Can’t handle shandy and pick fight with small fence post.

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The Holsworthy Mafia understand that two ‘double hard’ boys had 1 can of Shandy to many on Sunday night.


Distraught that they couldn’t afford the latest ‘fanny pack’ on sale at Primark, the two young chavs necked 2 cans of the super strong lemonade and beer mix known as ‘shandy’ and decided  to vent their anger over their lack of  discount chain ‘Bum bags’ against the least offensive inanimate object they could find.


After downing their second can of ‘Bass shandy’ the two walking manginas decided that the only way they could show the world how hard they were, was by getting into a good old fashioned fence post fight. To warm up for the main event they started by throwing a few cans at a truck in the memorial hall car park, they then moved onto kicking of a cars wing mirror up at bray road. Unfortunately they didn’t stop at these two utterly pointless acts of vandalism.


They finally realised that the only way the world would know how truly hard they were, was if they got in a fight with a small fence post and showed it who was boss. Not realising that most normal humans have CCTV these days they settled on a tiny fence post that was quietly minding its own business holding up a chain to another fence post. One of the lads seized the moment to show just how manly he was, and quickly pounced.  With a few swift kicks, the fence post went down. The young shandy drinker then came to the conclusion that 1 fence post wasn’t enough and promptly kicked over another totally harmless fence post, before scuttling off (probably before one of the neighbours came out and twat slapped him).


The Holsworthy mafia spoke to the ‘Don’ to get his take on this act of completely useless vandalism. He had this to say:- ” When I was a kid we were holding up trains and making ‘mad’ bank. These kids don’t have a fucking clue. I think someone should take their shandy away and send them to bed early”


One onlooker we spoke to said that Holsworthy needed to reintroduce the naughty step again for such pointless idiots.



These two utter fucktards will hopefully be caught and made to pay back and repair the damage they caused. But while we are waiting for that to happen (likely fuckin chance) everyone is laughing at these two little piss ants, as the video of their temper tantrum does the rounds on Holsworthy ‘moan and groan’









Updated: August 27, 2018 — 10:31 pm
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