News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Someone gives up and decides to just start dumping their shit wherever the fuck they want.

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The Holsworthy Mafia understand that a person identified as ‘Fuckles the clown’ from Holsworthy has decided that the rules don’t apply to him. To him the rules are just social constructs that “The Man” put in place for every other member of society to live by …. Just not him. The Mafia have it on good authority that this person woke up one morning and thought “Fuck it” i’m not gonna do what they tell me. I’m gonna march to the beat of my own drum, and in the process thoroughly piss of my neighbours at the same time.

 

The Holsworthy mafia have heard that ‘Fuckles the clown’ decided to start of his life as a rule breaking outlaw by putting his rubbish out a whole 13 days before the next collection date because ‘why the fuck not’. Quickly identifying himself as one of those fucking idiots who can’t read a Torridge District Council letter.

 

 

The Holsworthy Mafia spoke to ‘Fuckles’ who had this to say:- ” Yeah man, like fuck the rules, the rules just oppress us man. I am a firm believer in doing whatever the fuck I want as long as it doesn’t hurt the animals. I mean who is thinking of the animals here, man? Who is making sure that the foxes, cats and birds have rubbish to play with? No one, that’s who. 99% of people just put their rubbish out on time and follow the rules. Well not me. Animals have rights too, man. I like seeing animals spreading rubbish all around, it gives the area the certain ‘Crack alley’ look that has been missing from Holsworthy for too long”

 

The Holsworthy Mafia also spoke to Torridge district Council who told us that they were going to send some poor unfortunate sod out to sift through the rubbish so they could find an address and send a very strongly worded letter to the culprit to dissuade them from doing it again (fat lot of fucking good that will do).

 

 

The Holsworthy Mafia believe that this crime should be punished with a good old fashioned ‘hanging, drawing and quartering’, just to teach him a severe (but fair) lesson. The Holsworthy mafia will then collect and bag the remains of our culprit and put them out for rubbish collection the night before, or the morning (before 6:45am) of Wednesday the 5th of September, like most normal members of society do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Updated: August 23, 2018 — 6:21 pm
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