News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Torridge and North Devon Councils hold “Biggest F**k up of the year” Competition.



Holsworthy mafia can exclusively reveal that 2 local district councils have started a new and exciting competition between themselves. Torridge district council and North Devon council have decided to hold the 1st ever “Biggest fuck up of the year” competition. Not content with bragging only to their work colleagues about how badly they can bodge shit, both councils decided that the only way to truly decide who can fuck things up in the most ridiculous fashion, was to hold an inter-council competition.


Torridge District council were the 1st to participate, with their entry called ” Recycling roll out. How to do a clusterfuck properly”. Their entry included such gems as:- Failure to deliver recycling containers to lots and lots and LOTS of people. Failure to collect many peoples 2 week old rubbish. Failure to tell some people what was happening and what was changing. Failure to have enough resources in place for the roll out. And their absolute failure to embrace social media to get their message out ( Holsworthy mafia would add that we believe T.D.C  may have been aided in their efforts to fuck stuff up, by some people who simply couldn’t be arsed to read the T.D.C letter properly)

Not happy to let Torridge run away with the competition North Devon council decided that they needed to drop a bollock and enter their “fuck up” too.


North Devon councils entry in to the competition has been titled “48 reasons we are shite”. For their effort North Devon council decided to take the simple route of just giving away 48 people’s private details, including that of a vulnerable mother of 5. They deciding that if they were going to truly fuck up they wouldn’t drag it out like Torridge but do it quickly and with the greatest impact to those involved. They then compounded their fuck up with a truly god awful apology that included some of local governments standard apology words, like:- “assured, unintended, human error” . They rounded out the apology with an absolute classic, essential to all government apologies. Yep you guessed it, they used the phrase  “We are also revising our internal processes to avoid this ever happening again”.


At the time of writing this the Holsworthy Mafia understand that the competition is too close to call, and that both councils are  trying their absolute hardest to well and truly fuck things up.


As soon as we have any more information on this exciting competition we will update you.







Updated: July 30, 2018 — 6:43 pm
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