News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Introducing our latest Holsworthy Mafia recruit:- Jobe Coofler.

PeliwicaMotorhomeInsurance

 

The latest addition to Holsworthy mafia’s roster of adequate writers is Sheepwash’s very own Jobe Coofler. Jobe is an avid fan of the Nissan Micra, a wearer of corduroy and a staunch Liberal Democrat. Jobe believes that having an opinion one way or another is Journalistic suicide and hopes that his ‘beige’ approach to life will one day win him a ‘Practical Motorhome’ magazine writing credit. He also believes that bad overtaking is or is not as bad as dogs on or off Instow beach. His hobbies include ‘Bus spotting’, collecting man-hole covers, BDSM, ‘Water’ sports and watching 1970’s Dwarf porn.

We the Holsworthy Mafia have told Jobe that he must write at least 157 articles a day. Whether or not the articles are relevant is entirely up to him (as we will collect the ad revenue anyway).

With that in mind we asked Jobe what his goals are for his time here at the Mafia. He told us that he aims to fulfil 3 goals in each article he writes for our esteemed organization.

His goals are:- 1) To write the clickiest of click bait (but in a dull way). 2) To always speak to, and quote a “local” witness (who he will totally not make up). 3) To introduce a system to our Organization where people can only read our articles if they complete the most boring and irrelevant survey before they are able to access any article (he assures us that this will bring in even more money and will in no way annoy our readers).

 

Well we at the Holsworthy Mafia would like to say massive HELLO to Jobe, and here’s hoping he is going to let loose and finally write what he is thinking, and let all that pent up profanity out. We also hope he gets that ‘Practical Motorhome’ writing credit 😉

 

 

 

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Updated: July 26, 2018 — 10:50 pm
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