News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

School lets “special education” student keep crayons at end of term.


Holsworthy, Halwill & Chillsworthy have fallen into anarchy this morning when a special education student left the town looking like Los Angeles. The Student who was left with special crayons at the end of term, exchanged them with another special student for cans of spray yesterday and has decided he is the leader of the crime ridden gang, the Westcountry Massive (prick). With his new found coloring toys, he took it upon himself to redecorate Devon.

Upon waking up this morning, many residents of the areas of Halwill, Chillsworthy & Holsworthy found this “modern art” etched onto peoples property. The Special Student likely believed that he was some sort of Banksy, maybe spelt with a “W” instead of a “B”?

We also established that he must of thought the bus in Halwill was a New York style metro / subway train car, in his little 4 cell brain, he became overwhelmed when he saw this funny looking road people car train and decided it was to be his own. Instead of urinating on the wheel, the little prick etched some words on the side of the bus, which forensic teams cannot decipher, rendering his tagging as useful as his thought process, absolutely useless.

We believe the person above must look like this:

Tracksuit with stains everywhere, a fanny pack worn diagonally across his chest, some aviator sun glasses from the £2 market stall at Bude Car Boot Sale and some eBay special unbranded heely style trainers.

The Holsworthy Mafia spoke to the Don to get his take on the situation

If this was Banksy, the town would have already covered it in perspex, but as its not, hang the prick.

We reached out to the Police for comment, but they where off chasing fuck ugly shop lifters from Somerfield, but thats the way the cookie crumbles.

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Updated: July 25, 2018 — 8:33 am
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