News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Holsworthy’s worst criminal? Here’s what happened, and why McColls are closed.

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Meet Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys, he is a petty criminal who is one of the dumbest TV character ever conceived. Turns out he resembles the Holsworthy fucktard of a criminal who broke into McColls last night.

The crime rate in Holsworthy is still up. We’ve no idea why, but we have seen a serious robbery at Southcott Garage recently and now last night, McColls was broken into.

Now here’s where it gets interesting, the shop was broken into and do you have any idea what was taken? A safe? Bunch of fags? baccy?  A Bunch of expensive liquor? …. No, a crate of fucking beer.

Given the severity of the crime and its stupid gain, we ask this question, are todays parents teaching their children correctly? Who teaches their kids to take only 1 crate of beer when they rob a news agents? You take the bloody safe, the liquor, baccy, fags and as much munchies as you can! Its like breaking into Barclays and stealing a box of fucking pens. Our current micro dicked generation of criminals don’t deserve any media coverage at this rate, they’re pathetic.

Anyway, we hope they get arrested and made to pay back the £15 worth of beer they stole, the knuckle dragging morons. I mean really? … A crate of fucking beer? …. Literally, get out of town.

After Peter stopped laughing hysterically, he had this to say to the inept criminals:



Updated: July 12, 2018 — 9:55 am
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