News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Small Penis support group meet in Holsworthy Square by the well pump this evening.

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This evening marks a special day for the unlucky. A  meeting of lads with small penises took place this evening in Holsworthy Square by the well pump in the centre. They used the benches to sit down and talk about their problems while yelling abuse throughout the square (probably down to frustration).

They where spotted yelling at each other loudly in the square this evening, swearing, cussing and discussing their small appendage problem they so deeply care about.

The meeting is the first of its kind in Holsworthy and since its been a month or so since the last small penis event took place, its something some people in town need to attend too.

Due to Data Protection, we cannot tell you that the possible leader of the club seemed to be wearing light grey tracky bottoms and a dark grey top.

How to spot someone with a small penis:

  • Usually wears fake jewellery from Wish.com
  • Wears obscene clothing, such as overly baggy tracksuites
  • Loud, obnoxious, usually pretends to fight with mates
  • Just generally unpleasant and often smells like they just fell into a bath of Lix Africa.
  • Makes primate type noises

If you approach these people, be cautious. They can panic and hurl abuse if they feel threatened and quite often cause criminal damage. If you see one with a cheap poverty can of energy drink, they may be quicker to spook.

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Updated: July 3, 2018 — 8:05 pm
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