News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Bude opens Warehouse sized Sauna.

Image result for B&M store


Our scone hating friends across the Tamar have done it again.


While most normal people are out enjoying the glorious sunshine doing normal people things like gardening, watching the footie and sinking a few cold ones, the residents of Bude have decided that the current heatwave it is not quite hot enough for them. For them, the 30 degree heat we are all enjoying is just not toastie enough.

Locals from the seaside town gathered in the Bude tunnel to decide what to do about the perceived artic conditions they were experiencing and after much debate they settled on the only sensible decision they could think of; a sauna capable of housing the entire townsfolk. Though being the enterprising people that they are, they decided to combine this giant sized sauna with an average shopping experience as well.

Following a brief town survey, a suitable location was found opposite morrisons up by the notorious ‘wanking’ roundabout and within 4hrs 20 minutes the Mega sauna was complete and open to the public.

The people of Bude can now get their ‘sweat’ on and shop at the same time in the near 40 degree heat at their new super sauna called ‘Bloody melting’ or B&M for short.

The Holsworthy Mafia have contacted Bude for comment, and were told to “bugger off and get your own chocolate melting palace”.



Updated: June 30, 2018 — 11:30 pm
The Holsworthy Mafia © 2017 - All content on this website is fictional fake news. Its here for your enjoyment only.