News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Police feel let down by British Telecom after new phone book arrives.

police naughty boy

The Local constabulary have shared their concerns over the new release of the BT Phonebook. To their absolute horror, the phone book is much smaller than before.

The new phonebook is only half an inch thick, despite the Police issuing the phone numbers of every drug dealer in Holsworthy (enough to fill a 1990’s yellow pages book), BT didn’t think it was wise to list these numbers. As a result, the Police are now having to resort to the Bible to use in their Police Beat Sessions. The Local BEAT officer had this to say:

We’ve been let down. When we capture a criminal and we know the justice system wont back us up, we could always rely on the trusty BT phone directory for judicial assistance when interrogating a naughty boy.

We use the book like this: We hold it down on someone, then we simply use a big stick and beat all over the criminal. This results in little or no bruising and punishes the naughty boy.

Since this BT Phonebook Bobby scandal, we will now have to seek assistance from the Lord Jesus for this punishment and use a King James Bible instead.

The Don had this to say:

The Police are idiots. We’ve got an archive of 1970s yellow pages for this reason. All they have to do is ask and we’d lend them some.

When we approached the local beat officer for questioning, he simply pulled a┬áBible from his belt, located next to his Tazer and said “Try me”.

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Updated: June 13, 2018 — 8:37 am
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