News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Fury over silly Waitrose parking stunt this evening

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Holsworthy has fallen into anarchy this evening in what appears to be a taking over by the Japanese. The Japanese are breaking one of the sacred laws of the land, park correctly. The Japanese vehicle, presumably driven by a Japanese family was left out of a parking space in Holsworthy. We’re no choice but to assume that war has been declared on Holsworthy.

As usual, the town acted in a natural way, it fell into anarchy, pedestrians gathering with torches to burn those who make a mockery of the very clear and sincere rules of Holsworthy Waitrose Car Park, even if it is a declaration of war by the Japanese, parking rules are parking rules and must be obeyed.

The Mayor of Holsworthy had this to say:

What on earth are you gobbling on about now? It’s someone who has clearly parked incorrectly, its not a war against Japan, someone just didn’t park correctly.

We may have made one or two things up to spice up the story, but all in all, its true. Honest.

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Updated: May 11, 2018 — 7:48 pm
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