Its been a roughly 3 weeks since the Bude Road garage, most famous for selling bog standard boring fuel has closed. The Garage which sold Texaco fuel, stolen from the middle east by ‘merica and sold to us at competitive prices has finally closed its doors for the ever environmentally friendly BP who have never written off the golf of mexico because of oil spills… None what so ever… #fakenews.
BP who where known as DP at one point for their skill of not just screwing the earth, but Double Penetrating the fuck out of it, will be selling its full range of fuels in Holsworthy. This includes Sea Salt / Aquatic Tears of sadness flavored unleaded and screw the air we breath flavored Diesel.
Backing this environmentally friendly brand will be a Marks & Sparks, famous, well, for their adverts. This isn’t just any old environment destroying fuel brand, its an M&S environment destroying fuel brand.
The M&S mini supermarket will offer all the Range Rover drivers everything they need for a middle class meal at the wheel.
Opening date: Depends if they flood Holsworthy with oil or not, but summer sometime, maybe.