News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Shipment of our Colombian “coffee” has come stuck under a bridge in Holsworthy. Whoops.


DR141-530-,Holsworthy-UnderbridgeA large shipment of coffee has come to an abrupt halt this afternoon as one of our delivery drivers made a mistake. On his way into town, he took no regard to the heights limit set for the entrance of the town on Chapel Street. The gateway into Holsworthy has claimed many of lorries and buses in recent years.

The Holsworthy Mafia are extremely disappointed within the lorry driver (Mr Drives) who apparently was distracted by a lady friend he picked up in Launceston on the way for “company”.

The shipment has arrived for distribution across the Holsworthy network. Mr Drives has said he’s sorry for his actions and said he will reconsider his lady friend choices in the future on his next delivery mission, the purchasing of Nuclear Warheads from our friends in Russia.



Updated: April 18, 2018 — 1:01 pm
The Holsworthy Mafia © 2017 - All content on this website is fictional fake news. Its here for your enjoyment only.