News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

Roof blown off in Bazaar after drunken nuclear missile launch attempt at a drunken party

Bazaar Holsworthy

The Mafia had a party this week celebrating our opening of the Wardrobe shop and the result of the party was quite interesting. The Don pressed some buttons in our Bazaar Trident silo whilst drunk and detonated the explosive bolts designed to remove the roof in the event of an emergency nuclear missile launch, the result was a party in the bazaar that literally took the roof off the building.

The building with its integrated silo was designed to disintegrate the roof in the event if a missile launch and is a two step process, step one, removal of the roof, step two, launch the missile.

Fortunately, the Cod Father managed to wrangle the Don away from the launch button before any damage was done. We were quite curious as to where the Don had set the coordinates as they have to be programmed before the missile can be launched and we found something interesting. He had set the coordinates to the local Traffic Wardens house. Interestingly enough, there was no warhead activated, though the missile would have still launched. This would only of resulted in a missile falling into his house from the clouds above undetonated and relatively in once piece. I think he had recovery plans in place to sneak the 25M missile back to Holsworthy in the dead of night.

The Don has since sobered up, he said he’s really sorry and has offered the landlord of the property a £10 iTunes voucher as a good will gesture.

PS – Our Missile is NOW armed – Just incase you were wondering.

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Updated: April 6, 2018 — 10:19 am
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