Its recently come to our attention that Devon County Council will be receiving over £4m to fix the pot holes on the devonshire roads. We have however discovered one problem with this budget… IT WONT BE ENOUGH
From all us devonshire residents, here’s a statement we sent to the Sith Lord Theresa May:
You’ve not allocated enough monies for the pot hole repairs. There isn’t a chance all the pot holes that are destroying our cars will be repaired within the next 12 months under this budget. You need to at least DOUBLE it. Your talking every road in Devon, particularly the road by Luke Furse Contractors, that road is absolutely trashed, its almost as bad as a teenage boys face with acne.
You need to drive on our roads in a normal car for a few weeks. See exactly what we’re having to put up with it.
The mafia also had a chat with one of the local garages: 
We don’t see too much of a problem with it, if y
ou drive carefully, it’ll be fine. That said, since this winter, we’ve been busy replacing bushes, shocks, steering racks and springs on peoples cars, must be the cold weather. Cant see anything with pot holes to do with that… Let them be… Its bloody good for my wallet.
The mafia have been looking into spraying large penis and cocks over the pot holes forcing the council to dig and repair the mess, its been proven that this method has worked else where in the UK where councils are forced to repair them first because of potential complaints from the Lefty Loony Party where anything related to genitals and gender can cause offence.
